Saturday, August 27, 2011

Perspective

I woke up grumpy this morning.  I'm going to chalk it up to the fact that between a young men's activity, a ym training meeting, home teaching, and playing tennis and basketball,  Adam was gone every single night this week.  (The only exception was Monday night, our family night.)  I woke up around 7:30 AM.  Alone.  Adam had left before 7 to help one of his priests with his Eagle Scout project, and will be gone a good chunk of the day, leaving me on my own with the household chores and the 2-year-old tantrums that inevitably will be.  I was contemplating the fact that, tomorrow, Sunday, a so-called "family day" he will be gone from 10-6 at various church meetings and responsibilities.
So yes, at 7:30 this morning, you might say I was feeling disillusioned, perhaps even a tiny bit bitter.  I'm not trying to suggest that Adam is a slacker in his husband/fathering duties, in fact, he's an all-star.  It's just that he has lots of responsibilities as a young men's president, and I find myself alone, and yes, even lonely, more than I would choose.
So where was I?  Ah, yes, waking up alone this morning.  Well, a few minutes later, Ty came into our bedroom and sweetly asked, "Can I snuggle you, Mom?"  Oh, how grateful I was this morning that I have a snuggler!!  And then as he was lying next to me with his arms wrapped around me, he beautifully, tenderly said these exact words: "Mom, you are one of my favorite things in my whole life."
Sigh.  I attest that the Lord sends sweet, tender mercies to us when we need them the most.  This morning that tender mercy took the form of my four-year-old son.  He made me stop and realize that my life is really not that bad!
Is life busy?  Yes.  Is Adam gone a lot doing church business?  Yes.  But...

1.)  I have a husband.
2.)  Said husband is a stalwart man who serves incredibly faithfully in whatever capacity he is asked to.
3.)  My sons have a wonderful example to look to of a righteous priesthood holder.
4.)  I know Adam is a profoundly powerful force in the lives of the young men in our ward.  I have seen countless examples of that firsthand, and have also heard many stories from others about the impact he has had, particularly with some of the youth who have struggled.  In many cases, he has been exactly what a particular young man has needed.

So, basically, I'm a little selfish.  And I think that's ok to an extent.  I don't think there's anything fundamentally wrong with wishing I had more time with my husband, as long as it doesn't become crippling or debilitating when that doesn't happen.  But, ultimately, I also recognize that if I were to sum up my life is a single word it would be blessed.  Thanks, Ty, for reminding me.

5 comments:

Breea Heiner said...

THANK YOU! I am feeling bugged and a little off today so I am so glad you shared this. It made me remember that I too am blessed.
You rock.

Nate and Jessica said...

I am about to do a post so similar to this! I didnt know Adam was Ym pres..so is Nate. It is intense isn't it? I have really struggled with it because he is gone so much. BUT as you said, how blessed we are to have such faithful husbands that can serve in that type of calling. I will take it ANY DAY. Worth it for sure.

Beth said...

I have had felt like this, definitely more than I should (especially since my husband is home quite a bit, really!). Thanks for writing about it and sharing this perspective. I often feel guilty for feeling bitter, but you know, I think it's okay to miss the family time. But yes, I need to remember my blessings, too.

I know our ward family appreciates the sacrifices you make in order for your husband to serve. (I appreciate you, anyway -- I know one of those many Sunday meetings Adam's attending is choir practice, and I'm SO glad he's there!) :-)

Hope it's been a good day for you!

Sonnie and Ryan said...

I can relate! You have a GREAT attitude!

lanita said...

Thank goodness for tender mercies--I believe you have been mine a time or two. :)