I woke up grumpy this morning. I'm going to chalk it up to the fact that between a young men's activity, a ym training meeting, home teaching, and playing tennis and basketball, Adam was gone every single night this week. (The only exception was Monday night, our family night.) I woke up around 7:30 AM. Alone. Adam had left before 7 to help one of his priests with his Eagle Scout project, and will be gone a good chunk of the day, leaving me on my own with the household chores and the 2-year-old tantrums that inevitably will be. I was contemplating the fact that, tomorrow, Sunday, a so-called "family day" he will be gone from 10-6 at various church meetings and responsibilities.
So yes, at 7:30 this morning, you might say I was feeling disillusioned, perhaps even a tiny bit bitter. I'm not trying to suggest that Adam is a slacker in his husband/fathering duties, in fact, he's an all-star. It's just that he has lots of responsibilities as a young men's president, and I find myself alone, and yes, even lonely, more than I would choose.
So where was I? Ah, yes, waking up alone this morning. Well, a few minutes later, Ty came into our bedroom and sweetly asked, "Can I snuggle you, Mom?" Oh, how grateful I was this morning that I have a snuggler!! And then as he was lying next to me with his arms wrapped around me, he beautifully, tenderly said these exact words: "Mom, you are one of my favorite things in my whole life."
Sigh. I attest that the Lord sends sweet, tender mercies to us when we need them the most. This morning that tender mercy took the form of my four-year-old son. He made me stop and realize that my life is really not that bad!
Is life busy? Yes. Is Adam gone a lot doing church business? Yes. But...
1.) I have a husband.
2.) Said husband is a stalwart man who serves incredibly faithfully in whatever capacity he is asked to.
3.) My sons have a wonderful example to look to of a righteous priesthood holder.
4.) I know Adam is a profoundly powerful force in the lives of the young men in our ward. I have seen countless examples of that firsthand, and have also heard many stories from others about the impact he has had, particularly with some of the youth who have struggled. In many cases, he has been exactly what a particular young man has needed.
So, basically, I'm a little selfish. And I think that's ok to an extent. I don't think there's anything fundamentally wrong with wishing I had more time with my husband, as long as it doesn't become crippling or debilitating when that doesn't happen. But, ultimately, I also recognize that if I were to sum up my life is a single word it would be blessed. Thanks, Ty, for reminding me.
little moments: september
6 days ago