The night before our ward split almost two weeks ago, I had a bit of a meltdown. It was a hard, stressful week, considering what was about to happen. And I had some personal struggles, too, of the sort where you think you are doing ok, and then you realize you probably aren't as good of a person as you thought you were. And it kinda hurts. So, on said night, things had sort of piled on, and I snapped a little. I whined to Adam that, with the exception of our five days in the Caribbean last summer, I haven't had a single day off in almost four years, since Ty was born. "You can take a sick day," I complained, "But when I am sick, I still have to take care of everyone else. You get to go out to lunch sometimes. I never go out to lunch, and on the rare occasion I do, it's to playland McDonald's. I hate McDonald's! The only sort of conversations I have in the daytime are about whether I get to be the blue or green gingerbread man in Candy Land. And you know what? I am tired of it!!" I know what you are thinking, "Yeah, that Meggin, she has sure got one hard life." (Sarcasm) And truth be told, I know my life is pretty darn great. But like I said, it was the end of a long, tough week, and I was probably looking for reasons to complain.
Well, Adam, being the so-close-to-perfect-it's-almost-scary kind of guy he is, decided to take a day off of work and give me that day off of my work that I have been wanting. That day was today, and friends, it was glorious!
My day started off with a six mile run. It's been several months since I have run that far at once, and it was kind of a treat to be able to do that on a week day! Then while Adam took McKay to a dermatology appointment, I took a long, hot, uninterrupted shower. Such a luxury. And when Adam took the kids to the park to fly a kite and play, I went shopping. Window shopping, actually, but it didn't bother me at all that I didn't get to buy anything today.
I went out to lunch all by myself. I texted a couple people that I thought might be able to come with me, but when that didn't work out, I decided to fly solo. I have always felt bad for those who are eating at a restaurant alone, but I didn't feel a touch bad for myself today, and I hoped no one else did, either! Couldn't they see that I was eating an entire meal in peace, without jumping up to get someone a drink, a spoon, or some more grapes? Well, if they couldn't, I could, and I appreciated every minute of it!
My afternoon consisted of a long nap, about a hundred pages read in Huck Finn, and a visit to the temple. When I came home, there was a hot dinner waiting for me! And it wasn't mac and cheese, either! Adam made chicken and rice, with veggies and fruit on the side. And it tasted just that much better because I didn't have to prepare it!
After dinner, we went bowling with some good friends (pictures to come). On the way home, we stopped at Krispy Kreme to cash in on a bunch of free doughnut coupons we had.
I didn't clean a bathroom today, do a load of laundry, dust a shelf, or even make a single bed in our home. And the world is still spinning! I can't tell you how many times I felt guilty today that I was doing what I was, but I kept telling myself that Adam was giving me a gift today, and I shouldn't feel bad about it. That helped me feel just a little better.
I enjoyed today, I really did. But it actually wasn't a perfect, red-letter day. Now that I am a mom, I want to do things for and with my kids. And as much as I had a blast taking care of myself today, I missed reading the stories and playing the backyard baseball. Yep, thanks, Adam, I really do appreciate this day you gave me, but tomorrow I am taking my title back. I am a Mother, and a mother's life is the one I choose!
book chat 6.0
5 days ago